Since Tim Berners-Lee invented the internet, the amount of passwords you've been forced to remember has shot up like crazy. Also you're forced to remember passwords now, like a spy or something, which is mental. You have your Facebook account, your Twitter account, maybe you're still using MySpace for some reason; like a fugitive hiding in an abandoned fair ground, and then there's Amazon and eBay and LoveFilm or Netflix or maybe both, plus your e-mail and your backup e-mail or the e-mail you use when some website asks for your e-mail but you don't want to give them your real e-mail address, and Reddit and Pinterest and Vine and Digg and Tumblr and DropBox... and so on.
Facebook is ex-girlfriend (or boyfriend, obviously) level clingy when it comes to deleting your account. In as much as you can't. You can "deactivate" it, which is the interent equivalent of being on a break, because the second you go back to it that's it; you're back together again and poking like a Woodpecker with a human finger in its mouth.
You probably don't even remember half the usernames and passwords for all the sites you've joined. What's your Faceparty username, right now? What is it? You haven't got a fucking clue have you? You can't even remember being on Faceparty, or Habbo Hotel etc... and they've probably got all sorts of embarassing pictures and comments from when you were 15.
JustDelete.me is a terrificly simple resource of direct links to delete your accounts. No need to spend God Knows how long searching the individual websites for their (purposely) well hidden Deactivate pages. JustDelete.me has got them all set up and listed and linked right there. Just click a button and go straight to it.
Some sites are fairly easy to escape, while others force you to actually speak to someone (like a caveman might do) before they'll let you go, while a handful don't seem to let you delete your accounts at all (Netflix, Steam and Starbucks, in case you were wondering) but JustDelete.me has them clearly marked with a colour coded system.
Green for the simple walk away, Orange for the face-to-face break up, Red for threatening to kill themselves if you leave and Black for panning you in the face with a spade and chaining you to a radiator.
It's not just for deleting accounts actually, because the labelling allows you to check out just how grasping a website is likely to be with your personal info before you sign up. If you think it's worth never being able to fully detach from Starbucks in order to qualify for a free Tall Frap, then be my guest, but JustDelete.me is at least giving you the option.
On a similar note, UnBaby.me is a browser plug-in that automatically removes photographs of babies from your Facebook and replaces them with hilarious cats peeking out of Wellingtons. You're welcome.
Words by Gazz Wood
Gazz Wood is a writer from The Northern Film School at Leeds Met University. As well as writing for Wireless he can also be heard on the monthly podcast Possibly of Interest with TV Producer Howard Cohen and special guests from the world of British TV and Cinema, plus his own weekly show Gazz Wood Has A Podcast. He can also be followed on Twitter @GazzPH90
Gazz Wood is a writer from The Northern Film School at Leeds Met University. As well as writing for Wireless he can also be heard on the monthly podcast Possibly of Interest with TV Producer Howard Cohen and special guests from the world of British TV and Cinema, plus his own weekly show Gazz Wood Has A Podcast. He can also be followed on Twitter @GazzPH90
