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Top Five Angry Police Captains

He's got the Mayor up his ass, the city is spending way too much on insurance and he wants this case done by the book or he's taking your gun and your badge and kicking you the hell out of his God Damn office! Yes, he's the police captain in every movie that has one, and he's fucking furious!



Every cop he has to deal with is a maverick who plays by his own rules, which is a bastard because the Chief doesn't have time for that crap! Did he mention he's got the mayor up his ass on this one?! NO MORE SCREW UPS!



Captain Reed (Robocop)



His city is going to crime covered shit and his department is either threatening to strike or being horrifically murdered and turned in cyborgs. Captain Reed has every right to be angry and by God he's gonna exercise that right. Screaming at officers, screaming at suspects and snarling at dickheads from OCP is how this man spends his day.



Best Quote: "Forget it kid, this guy's a serious asshole!"


Inspector Todd (Beverly Hills Cop)

If you had to deal with Eddie Murphy on a daily basis you'd be upset too. Maybe if Axel would just piss off to California for a bit he'd be able to relax and get some work done, but OH NO he's still got to take heat for this prick Foley and he is TIRED OF IT! The mayor called the chief, the chief called the deputy chief and deputy chief just chewed his ass out. Then to top it all off, he gets killed in Beverly Hills Cop 3! At least he didn't have to live to see The Klumps.



Best Quote: "Don't think Axel! It makes my dick itch!"


Captain Dickson (21 Jump Street)



Obviously Dickson is modeled on the cliché Angry Police Captain, he even says as much himself, but he steps outside of that role and makes it his own with some real fury. He's not just mad at Schmidt and Jenko, although don't let that fool you because he is very mad, but he's disappointed too. He got saddled with these two idiots and they're breaking every God damn rule Jump Street has! He worked his ass off to be captain and sometimes he gets angry! Fuck y'all!

Best Quote: "Hey! Stop fucking with Korean Jesus! He ain't got time for your problems! He's busy with Korean shit!"



Deputy Police Chief Dwayne T. Robinson (Die Hard)


Not all angry police chiefs are blaxploitation stereotypes, and not all angry police chiefs are angry because of the renegade cop. Some are frustrated because of how shit they are at everything, and Dwayne T. Robinson has that exact problem. He makes the wrong call at every possible turn during the Nakatomi Plaza incident, and what's more he bloody knows it. Constantly trying to assert his authority over John McClane, Officer Powell and then the FBI, but no one pays a damn shite of attention to him and that makes him very annoyed.


Best Quote: "We're gonna need some more FBI guys I guess..."



Chief George Earle (Demolition Man)


Everything was going so well for Chief George Earle. There was no crime of any kind, he didn't even have to wipe his own arse and no one ever told him just how evil his bald head and glasses made him look. Then Wesley Snipes escaped from jail (something he was unable to do in real life) and all heck broke loose gosh darnit. Suddenly there's no peace and quiet but there is Sly Stallone cursing up a storm and calling you a dick to your face. He doesn't even know how to use the 3 Seashells!

Best Quote: "Resonate some understanding!"

Enjoy this fine Chief Earle soundboard for further gems.






Words by Gazz Wood



Gazz Wood is a writer from The Northern Film School at Leeds Met University. As well as writing for Wireless he can also be heard on the monthly podcast Possibly of Interest with TV Producer Howard Cohen and special guests from the world of British TV and Cinema, plus his own weekly show Gazz Wood Has A Podcast. He can also be followed on Twitter @GazzPH90