Citizens of Detroit have been scared out of their damned minds this past week as reports of fake cops in convincing uniforms pulling people over and then robbing them at gun point.
The pair, who ride around in a white Crown Victoria (the vehicle du jour of American cops), stalk their victims at petrol stations. When they get out to pump gas, the pretend lawmen make like they're searching your car on suspicion of a crime, but they're actually just searching it for things they want to take and not give back. Then it gets nasty as they demand your wallet and phone, producing weapons if you refuse and in one instance actually dick-slapping some poor sod with a gun to get his money.
Except then it turned out that the fake police were, in reality, real fucking police!
“Several unidentified police officers were working this particular robbery case, recognized one of the suspects in the photographs as being a member of the Detroit Police Department. In fact, they were police officers, just not working on-duty at the time."
That's Police James Craig talking, and he's in for a man-sized shit sandwich
if it turns out the "off duty" officers are found guilty. Detroit declared bankruptcy as a whole city earlier this year, the first one in the US to ever do that, and so times certainly are hard. The last thing you want is a pair of rogue constables rocking up to you and TWOKing your shit.
News media has reminded the residents of the doomed city that if they do not believe police intentions to be good, they can refuse to pull over and dial 911 for help.
You know what Detroit police officer would never mug you at a petrol station?
Robocop.
Words by Gazz Wood
