You may be one of those people who believe that aliens already walk among us. I might be inclined to agree after visiting my local high street on a week day. There are some truly unique life forms in that town (Who thought Wigan? Shame on you.)
The below video is not by some nut ball conspiracy theorist though, or a man who has been parked in a camper van at the perimeter of Area 51 for the last two decades. This is Seth Shostak, the Chief Astronomer for the SETI institute. In the video, Seth highlights why he believes it is mathematically probable that first contact will be made within the next 25 years.
If you haven't got time to watch the video then be sure to check out the essential tips below, just in case you're the first person to bump into aliens and find yourself as the spokesperson for humanity.
If you haven't got time to watch the video then be sure to check out the essential tips below, just in case you're the first person to bump into aliens and find yourself as the spokesperson for humanity.
What to Do if You’re the First Human to Make Contact with Aliens
Step 1: Don’t Panic.
Douglas Adams listed this first for a reason. This is perhaps the most important step and it will certainly set the tone for the rest of your close encounter. The last thing you want to do is represent the entire human race by being a scared-to-death little idiot.
It is vitally important that you do not contort your face in terror and/or flee from the aliens no matter how horrifying they may be. They could be very sensitive about their nightmarish, be-tentacled appearance and consider your actions a grave insult or an act of war. They might also think that humanity is a bunch of wimps that are fit for nothing but extermination. You don’t want the results of that on your conscience…
… so grab whatever iota of composure you have and get ready to be Earth’s shining ambassador to the stars.
Step 2: Take stock of the situation.
You need to ask yourself some important questions. Where are we? What am I doing right now? How does this look to the aliens? Have I been probed yet? Why not? Is it because I’m ugly? Looking at all the written works on alien encounters, you’re most likely to make extraterrestrial contact when you’re alone in the middle of a cornfield at night. The aliens have likely chosen this location because of its seclusion. The same could be said for you, but we won’t go into what you’re doing in the middle of a cornfield at 3 a.m. you sad, lonely person.
The aliens are trying one of two things. They’re either cautiously examining Earth from a neutral/benevolent standpoint or they’re infiltrating it for future conquest. So put that sheep down (you’ve done enough to it already) and try to determine what type of alien you have in front of you. The appearance of the alien will tell you a lot about its motives.
If it looks like a little dude in a jumpsuit with a big head, then you’re probably OK.
If it looks like H. R. Giger came up with it, you have a few seconds to live. Make them count.
So… right now we’ll assume that some alien isn’t ramming its ovipositor down your throat and laying its eggs in your chest. This takes us to our next step.
Step 3: Communicate.
In the historical documentary, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Mr. Spielberg shows us that aliens can solve inter-species communication issues with music. The scientists were able to “talk” to the aliens with an elaborate musical device that sounded similar to a rooster having sex with a frog in front of a megaphone. You can use music too. Now remember, you’re representing the entire human race so don’t skimp out on the quality. The aliens won’t really be impressed by your harmonica or your ability to belch the alphabet.
Instead pull out that iPhone and wow your guests with an enduring ballad of the ages.Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing is an acceptable song. If you do not have it, play Night Ranger’s Sister Christian instead. If you do not have either of these songs, contact me so I can send you alien appropriate music. Remember that radio waves can take quite a while to travel the cosmos, so it’s likely that our space friends are well into the power ballads of the 80s and have no idea who this Rihanna person is.
It won’t be long before you and your interstellar guests become fast friends.
Step 4: Take Us to Your Leader.
Your friends will inevitably ask to see “your leader.” There are two ways to go about this. You could take the aliens to UN headquarters so they can watch all of our leaders bicker and argue over whether or not the aliens in front of them actually exist. This display will most likely lead to the extermination of the entire human race. Option two is to tell your alien friends, “I’m in charge. What do you guys want to talk about?”
If you play your cards right, you could be made Earth’s ambassador to their home planet and perhaps the entire Galactic Council.
If you screw this up though, you’ll anger a lot of aliens. This will only open yourself up to lots and lots of probing.
In closing, I just wanted to say, “Good luck, we’re all counting on you.”
THE END.
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