So, you’ve had to go into hospital for surgery. Not ideal,
but at least you’ll be operated on by someone qualified. As in someone
professional, who is responsible and knows what they’re doing. Someone who you
can trust to be digging around in all the squishy goo inside that makes you
work. Unfortunately, sometimes, someone you probably wouldn’t want messing
around with your vital organs manages to get in there anyway.
One of these people, it turns out, is Simon Bramhall, of the
Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham. If you have upcoming surgery, don’t
worry, he’s been suspended now. Why exactly you say? He branded his initials
onto a patient’s liver during surgery, before chuckling quietly to himself
presumably. This was discovered by a fellow surgeon. What I wouldn’t give to
have been there when he had to go tell the patient.
Not to worry too much though, it shouldn’t be a problem for
the patient as it was done using argon gas which is usually used to seal
vessels and “is not usually harmful”. Although possibly more to worry about as
Mr Bramhall has performed hundreds of transplants. That could mean there are
hundreds of folk wandering around with “SB” stamped on various inside
body-parts. That’ll be amusing if any of them end up donating organs.
The very best part of this however is this one quote from a
source close to Mr Bramhall. “I am hoping this is just a mistake”. That seems
like a reasonable theory. After all, it’s crazy simple to burn letters in with
argon gas. And it’s so hard to tell which bits are the vessels that need
closing and which bits are the liver. It’s probably just a coincidence that
they formed the exact same shape as the surgeon’s initials. I’d definitely go
with the “accident” defence Simon.
Ari Carrington
