WORDS: Khia Reynolds
As every true Yorkshire person will already know, today is
Yorkshire Day, a day to celebrate everything good about ‘God’s own county’. It
was first celebrated in 1975, as a protest against a government re-organisation
which meant those Lancashire bastards stole some of our beloved Yorkshire.
I joke of course, we no longer think Lancashire people are
bastards. In fact, in parts of East Lancashire, that used to be Yorkshire, they
are flying the Yorkshire flag and taking their whippets for a walk to the local
pub.
The sober truth is we don’t even do much on this wonderful
day. Perhaps somebody will demand Yorkshire puds and say “chuffin’ hell” a bit
too much, but there is actually not much drinking involved. That alrate
though, we’ve come up with a few suggestions
for those wanting to celebrate:
1. Have a proper Sunday dinner: Don’t forget your
Yorkshire puds, and try not to be one of those “don’t let the gravy touch me’
puds” arseholes.
2. Have a pint of ale: Find your local real ale pub
and throw a pint of the good stuff darn’ ya neck.
3. Buy a flat cap: Sure, you’ll look like a knob,
but just imagine the respect you’ll command in your local.
5. Listen
to “On Ilkla Moor Baht 'at”: Can you guess
what the hell this actually says? No? It means “On Ilkley Moor Without a Hat”
and is considered our unofficial anthem.
5. Listen to David Bowie: Okay, we’re stretching it
a little here, but since David Bowie’s father was from Tadcaster, we’re
claiming partial responsibility for him.
Who knows, maybe in a few more years it will be just as
important as Christmas. Perhaps we should start petitioning Hallmark. Until
then however, enjoy this sketch by Monty Python:
