Taylor Swift Look-A-Like Pays The Price

People don't really like country singer turned popstar turned all-purpose celebrity pariah Taylor Swift, or Taydolf Switler as she's often known. Maybe it's because she dates famous men who all the girls like, and so there's the weird jealousy, then she dumps the men and writes insulting songs about how awful they are. Perhaps her next song should be called "Maybe It IS Me..."

British student Xenna Kristian hasn't done any of those things. There's no t-shirt out with the names of all her ex-boyfriends on it, and Kanye West hasn't interrupted her doing anything. Yet. I expect he'll get round to her though, like he will all of us. All Xenna Kristian did was look like Taylor Swift, and that was enough to earn her a swift beatdown from a bunch of asshole kids.

“Some girls at college had started making nasty comments, but it escalated really quickly," said Kristian, a professional Swift Look-A-Like. "The girl came up behind me and dragged me off my chair by my pony tail, then started kicking me in the face.” 

She suffered a broken jaw and numerous cosmetic injuries to her face, which is what happens with a couple of aggressive lasses start putting the kitten heel to your chops. After a bit her a friends jumped in and saved her, but apparently the teachers just stood around doing nothing during the attack, which was entirely unprovoked. 

Unless you think looking vaguely like a celebrity is provocation enough. It's not, incidentally, because if it was I'd get my face kicked off by gangs of people who don't really care for Ed Helms.

Xenna reckons the attack came from the girls' jealousy of her, which is exactly the sort of thing Taylor Swift might say so she really is taking this job seriously. She's a method look-a-like.

I put it to her that the only reason anyone would hire a Taylor Swift Look-A-Like would be to give her a slap. The best way to fight back in these situations would be to take the hit and then present your attacker with an invoice. That way you can take them to small claims court later.

Words by Gazz Wood

Gazz Wood is a writer from The Northern Film School at Leeds Met University. As well as writing for Wireless he can also be heard on the monthly podcast Possibly of Interest with TV Producer Howard Cohen and special guests from the world of British TV and Cinema, plus his own weekly show Gazz Wood Has A Podcast. He can also be followed on Twitter @GazzPH90