A Close Shave
Before we begin lets take a moment to revel in the glory of
this man's amazing tache'.
You can see why he's proud of it. Who wouldn't be? That's
the kind of facial fuzz that makes women go weak at the knees, especially in
Pakistan, where it's considered a sign of prosperity and virility.
Perhaps that's why Islamic extremists drove father of ten Malik Amir Mohammad Khan Afridi into hiding: he was
essentially swaggering around town with a 30inch face shlong, making them all
look like chumps.
The chumps in question are
Lashker-e-Islam, who have dedicated their lives to keeping beards and
moustaches trimmed short. Allegedly this is due to theirs always growing in a
bit patchy.
Despite being forced on the run by
the most petty terrorists ever, Mr Afridi insists that he is happy, adding: “'I
don’t like smoking. I’m not fond of snuff, or drinking. This is the only choice
in my life. I’d even sacrifice food, but not the moustache. It’s my life. It’s
not part of my life. It is my life.'
He is now seeking asylum in Dubai,
the US, Canada or Britain. I think we should snap him up before we miss the
chance. He can only serve to make our nation more bad ass.
Words Ben Gibson
