The why may never be answered, but the latest Guinness Book of World Records is out, and if you're anything like me, you'll be looking for the weirdest shit first. There is stiff competition among the world's best, fastest, longest, shortest, but always weirdest.
Crack open the pages of the newest Guinness book of records to meet Happie the skateboarding goat, who loves nothing more than hopping on a skateboard and doing her “thing”. Said “thing” is skateboarding a whopping 118 feet, which is a long way for a goat.
But giving her a run for her money is Ozzy, a doggy master of the high-wire. But don't expect any death-defying stunt though: it's a dog that gets up on what is essentially a washing line and speeds along it, never falling off. Ozzy made it across 3 ½ meters in a mere 18.22 seconds.
There are records that will make you wish you lived in Germany... well, more specifically in the town where the biggest walking robot was made for a town play. This was no ordinary record breaking robot, it was a fire breathing dragon!
Britain is well represented too, there isn't just Ozzy, the amazing mutt from a Norwich animal rescue centre (forced tightrope walking wasn't why he is there. That's all voluntary.). Us proud Brits have also given that illustrious book the biggest vacuum collection at 322, as well as the fastest pram. The baby buggy reached a top speed of 53.4 mph in Stratford Upon Avon, looking more like a super sized motorbike that, if ever used, would have social services involved in an instant.
But stranger than anything in the book are the record attempts that fail to get a place. Only 2-4% of the 50,000 or so claims make it in, leaving us to ponder what twisted mind conjures up ' longest drawing of an evil train' , 'the dog with the fewest legs' and the mind boggling 'most bears killed by a wheelchair user'?
They're wasting their time, I know of a super powered buggy that will make sure Yogi never looks at your picnic basket again.
Words by Mairi Harris
