Man Gets Fork Stuck in Penis

We love a good knob story here at Wireless. Apparently “written by students, for students” means our articles consist of great gig reviews and mockery of those with knob-related injuries. This one however isn’t for the faint hearted.

A 70-year-old man in Australia has had to have a fork removed from his penis by doctors in Canberra. To add further insult to injury, the poor fella’s case has been written up by three different doctors in the International Journal of Surgery Case Report.

Why in god’s name would you stick a fork up your weiner you ask? For sexual gratification of course. Unfortunately, the man’s unusual “private time” resulted in the cutlery becoming stuck in the lower urinary tract, and had to be removed 12 hours later.

Doctors say they could feel the fork from the outside, and eventually managed to remove the fork with a whole lot of lube, forceps and general anaesthetic. The case was eventually written up for the International Journal of Surgery Case Report called "An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body".

The moral of this story is glaringly obvious.

Words by Khia Reynolds