All your drinking stories are now obsolete. A 64 year old man
has taken getting shit faced to glorious new heights by waking up without a
penis. Neighbours have since claimed that Geraldo Ramos's tackle was bitten off
by a wandering dog as the man passed out in the Dominican Republic naked and
mind-meltingly drunk.
The man woke up whilst being rushed to hospital and
unsurprisingly has no recollection of the previous night.
He received emergency surgery and is now recovering at home
with a catheter. Doctors have warned Mr Ramos to lay off the booze. He is said
to have learned his lesson, which is a shame, because that sort of situation
calls for several stiff drinks. Besides it's not like he can lose another
penis.
Neither the dog nor the penis have yet been found. If you
happen to come across a dog that you suspect might be considering having your
man giblets for lunch, you are advised to get the hell out of there.
Words-Ben Gibson
