Swedish judge rules it "OK" to crack one off in public

A court in Sweden ruled that a 65 year old man, caught merrily masturbating on a public beach was not guilty of sexual assault.

Public prosecutor, Olaf Vrethammar seemed frustrated at the disappointing climax of the case. He said: “We can conclude that it is OK to masturbate on the beach.” 

However, that doesn't mean you can hammer one out on the beach worry free just yet. Vrethammar added that the act it might still be a public order issue.

The slight of hand in this slippery matter seems to have been that the wrinkled gentleman was not directing his pleasure at any specific person on the beach. That was enough for his release. No witnesses have yet cum forward to give their opinion on the accused getting off.

Words by Mairi Harris