Tis the season to be jolly indeed, for the man (boy) we all
love to hate is leaving music to those who actually know how to do it. That’s
right, Justin Bieber is retiring from music. Can I get a hallelujah?
During an interview with an LA radio station, Justin was asked a question about
his future, which we’d all assumed was going down the line of “continue to
produce records and behave like a jerk until the inevitable child star downward
spiral into being forgotten”. But Justin’s answer was actually something
entirely surprising, and a cause to celebrate. “Um, I’m actually retiring man”;
the words the world’s been longing to hear from him; which as a special
Christmas present, he decided to grant us.
Obviously, it could still be a joke as it’s yet to be
confirmed on his Twitter, and his UK representatives haven’t commented on the
matter. Given the current trend of media fake-outs (Brian Griffin’s Death,
Harry Potter 8), it’s highly possible that it is. But it seems genuine; it’s
reported that Biebz had a straight face throughout the interview, and also
claimed he wanted his music to mature. What better way to do so than several
years off followed by a (less than) glorious comeback?
As expected, the second the thought of Bieber quitting hit the news, the
Beliebers started off on their not-in-any-way-over-the-top rampage of despair.
With fans tweeting things along the lines of “Justin quitting? My life is over”
and other overly dramatic sentiments, Beiber’s Beliebers are living up to their
obsessive reputation once again.
A lot of broken hearts if this is for real, but I’m pretty
certain there’ll be an awful lot more who are celebrating, which makes this
average out as good news indeed. Now if we can just get One Direction to join
him in the retirement line…
Ari Carrintgon
