How I Met Your Racism

How I Met Your Mother has fallen into disfavour following their latest episode; Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmarra. As the title might suggest, it’s the one where Barney gets his fourth slap. What was wrong with the episode? It’s been branded racist as it portrayed three of the main cast (Robin, Lily and Ted) dressed as characters from kung-fu movies.

American Apparel Mannequins now with Pubes

American Apparel have apparently forgotten that the point of mannequins is to show off the clothing, as they’ve recently decided that their mannequins need to be the part people focus on. So they’ve slapped pubes on them.

Man pulls Gun in Shop after being Refused £1 Discount

Prices can be pretty high these days, you can’t always afford everything you want. We get it. That’s why haggling is a thing; it pretty much never works, but occasionally you’ll get a couple of quid knocked off just by asking. Or so we hear, we’ve never actually seen it happen. But a man in Manchester liked his chances and thought he’d try asking for £1 off when he tried to buy 2 bottles of beer.

Drunk Guy call 999 Repeatedly to Brag about his Sex Life

Repeatedly is probably an understatement. This guy called them 30 TIMES over the course of 4 hours to let them know the ins and outs of his sexual endeavours. How bombed do you have to be to think it’s a good idea to call emergency services for 4 hours about what you get up to in the bedroom? Surely if you’re drunk enough to think that’s a great plan, you’d be too drunk to actually execute it…

Runaway Teens found Holidaying in the Caribbean

Edward Bunyan and Indira Gainiyeva (both 16) recently ran away from their boarding school, causing their families much concern as no-one knew where they were. They’ve been extremely concerned about the safety of these two teens, as you’d expect.

Breaking Bad hits the Streets with Real Blue-Dyed Meth

Blue Sky; a form of methamphetamine that’s totally pure and gets its blue colouring from the processes used to make it, which differ from common methods. It’s been popularised by the hit show Breaking Bad, and is of course a completely fictional strain of meth.

Husky tells owner “NO!” when told to go in Kennel

This might just be the cutest thing you see all day. Blaze is an 11-month old husky who does not like being in his kennel. Like really, really does not like his kennel. So much in fact, that he’s learnt to say no.

Magic: The Gathering to become Magic: The Movie?

Magic: The Gathering. That would be the card game you’d most associate with the kind of nerds that rarely see daylight. You know the ones. As to the game itself, think Yu-Gi-Oh but way more complicated. And Yu-Gi-Oh is pretty over-convoluted and hard to get to grips with.

Urban Outfitters in Trouble for Depression Shirt

Formerly-alternative clothing retailers Urban Outfitters have recently hit the news, and the hot water, over a debatably offensive t-shirt they are, or more accurately were, selling. This isn’t the first time they’ve run into issues with their clothing; previous disasters include a pair of socks emblazoned with nothing less than a picture of lord Ganesh. Tasteful. But whether or not they’re committing crimes of fashion is another story, this one’s just about how they’re upsetting various different groups of people.

UK’s Sluttiest City Revealed

Researchers have deduced the cities in the UK where the most one night stands are going down. Not only that but they’ve also worked out the most “adventurous” city, and yes that means exactly what you think it means.

Guy Killed by Atomic Wedgie

Denver Lee St. Clair apparently had the same kind of relationship with his stepson that many people have had with childhood bullies. 

Lindsay Lohan Fears Nude Pics Leaked

Lindsay Lohan is reported to be terrified that naked pictures of her will be leaked following the recent theft of her laptop from a Shanghai airport. She’s offering a very large reward for its safe return in the hopes of preventing these photos getting into the public domain. She’s also worried that private messages between herself and Woody Allen, and herself and Lady Gaga could be leaked; clearly there’s something juicy there.

Don’t upset your Baker; Woman receives Poo Cake after Argument with Baker

Micaela Harris of New Zealand was recently left shocked and embarrassed at her engagement party, not to mention with a whole lot of explaining to do to her upset guests. 

Family parties just aren’t the same without someone getting embarrassed, and they definitely aren’t the same without a new family feud or two starting.

Fake Tweet of Fresh Prince Tribute Episode Confuses Fans

We’re going to start off with some sad news which you may well have heard by now. James Avery, or Uncle Phil from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, has recently died. This has obviously caused sadness for fans and former cast members alike. Or, for one chap, an opportunity for pranks.

In light of this death, a tweet supposedly from Will Smith came out suggesting that the whole cast get together for a reunion episode in tribute to Uncle Phil. Sounds lovely, as fans agreed. They were fully in support of the idea, and showed this support by instantly retweeting as soon as our alleged Will Smith tweeted again, this time stating that he’d talked to NBC who’d told him he needed 300,000 retweets to make it happen. 

He even went to the trouble of setting up a fake screenshot of that conversation. To be honest, I’m just impressed he bothered to get the right network, although I still think the story would run exactly the same even if he’d got it wrong.

And those retweets came flooding in, because fans believed that that’s exactly how TV channels work. They also believed that someone tweeting as @Freshprincewill could be the real deal, as Will Smith has clearly done nothing of note since Fresh Prince. Twitter really does bring the smart people into the limelight.

Even as recent as this morning, searching on Twitter will reveal that not everyone has grasped the fact that it’s a fake; you can still see them retweeting with hope for a new episode. Although most of the tweets are now coming in as announcements of the fact that it was a fake, as if it was somehow shocking. 

Ari Carrington

Follow @ari_carri

Surgeon Stamps his Initials on a Patients Liver

So, you’ve had to go into hospital for surgery. Not ideal, but at least you’ll be operated on by someone qualified. As in someone professional, who is responsible and knows what they’re doing. Someone who you can trust to be digging around in all the squishy goo inside that makes you work. Unfortunately, sometimes, someone you probably wouldn’t want messing around with your vital organs manages to get in there anyway.

Desperate-beyond-desperate Woman posts Craiglist ad to find NYE Kisser

New Year’s Eve is a time when many single people drink a lot and snog strangers. Pretty much the whole point of the night if you’re single. None of these random spur-of-the-moment hook-ups are likely to go anywhere, but hey it’s New Year’s. Sure a few people end up dating afterwards, but more people will end up vomiting, or urinating, or both, or worse in the street as the night progresses.

Idiot spends £1000 in Nandos trying to win a Closed Competition

Sometimes we all go a little bit over the top trying to win competitions, either because we really want the prize, or because we just really like winning. 




I once bought 70% of all the tickets in a tombola to win an Easter egg. Not a good one, just your ordinary Easter egg. I was a kid, and it totally worked, so be quiet. The point is, we all get carried away from time to time, and from that perspective Christopher Poole behaved just like anyone would with his attempts to win a Nando’s black card.

Dead Frog found in Pret a Manger Salad

Let’s imagine that you’ve got a job. You’ve been working hard all day in the office, and when lunchtime comes around you decide to head down to Pret a Manger to pick up a delicious salad to take back to your desk. You figure it’ll be tasty and super-healthy, especially as it’s organic. That’s certainly what an employee at the Wall Street Journal did recently. 

Unfortunately, she wasn’t totally prepared for quite how organic that salad would turn out to be.

Vagina Knitting

Because apparently the point of feminism is now to cause people to be uncomfortable and disgusted, we now have vagina knitting. Whilst I’d love it if you read the words I’ve written, I can’t advise looking any further because it’s gross.

Manic Couponer buys £572.16 worth of Food for 4p.

Everybody makes use of a coupon from time to time to save the pennies. Actually, that’s not true, a lot of people can’t be bothered with them because they can be really irritating, and is it really worth it to save thirty pence? Sure, some people make a bit of a saving, but no-one’s ever saved anything really noteworthy by couponing.

Sometimes on TV shows there’ll be a gag about major savings couponing; for example in 2 Broke Girls, Caroline gets carried away with couponing and actually manages to sort her coupons to the extent the store owes her money for her shopping. Which is fabulous, but completely impossible. Or maybe not, as Jordan Cox, a student, recently proved.

Armed with 470 coupons he’d scoured from the internet and magazines, he hit up his local Tesco. Armed with three trolleys, he filled them all, before rolling up to what would be the longest checkout experience known to man. I actually feel really bad for the person who had to deal with all those coupons; it took over an hour to go through them all at the checkout. But clearly worth it, as the total of his shopping should have been £572.16, but after coupon upon coupon it totalled only FOUR PENCE. That’s a saving of £572.12. This whole experience probably took about three hours, so one way you could look at this, is that it’s kind of like he made £191/hour, which is awesome.

Not finished with being awesome yet however, Jordan then donated all of his purchases to families in need through the charity, Doorstep. Knowing that a 1000^th of the UK population can’t afford to eat this Christmas, he wanted to help. And also a little bit prove just how cheaply you can shop. It’s genius, and it’s genuinely going to help people. Although I do have to question the abundance of squirty cream in the picture. There’s like half a trolley of the stuff. It’s great, it’s noble and all that, but the squirty cream part does seem a little… ridiculous. Still, an incredibly impressive feat. Hats off to you Jordan Cox.

Ari Carrington