Tree Decorating; Tinsel, Lights and Testicles?

That’s not a typo in the title. Somebody’s actually taken the old Christmas time joke of referring to balls as baubles because they sound vaguely alike and are both vaguely round, and decided, hey! That’s great, let’s make that a thing!

Introducing BauBalls. 

They are testicle shaped baubles for you to put on your Christmas tree, because, why the fuck not? No okay, they are aiming to raise awareness of Testicular Cancer, and raise money for it, so they are aiming to achieve something. And the concept they’ve come up with is stupid and ridiculous enough to get a lot of people talking and giggling, so it’s clearly a fairly successful idea.

Available in packs of 4, at £6 a go, containing one of each of their designs, you can buy these delights from bauballs.co.uk. The designs are typically festive and vague; there’s elf, snowman, Rudolph and Santa’s sack. That right, it’s now possible to buy a bauble that’s testicle shaped and named Santa’s sack. No word yet as to whether it’s an accurate model or just an artist’s imagining of the fabled man’s man parts.

Or if you’re feeling creative and want to put your own touch on a pair of testicles, then for those of you who can’t or don’t feel like decorating your own, you can buy a make your own kit. Alternatively, if you aren’t that crafty, and you’re one of those people who likes to buy those obnoxiously expensive Christmas cards, you can buy a card with a nice silhouette of some balls, and a related pun. Because nothing says Happy Christmas quite like a picture of some balls.

Ari Carrington