Escaped Criminal Jailed After Tweeting Judge

A 60 year old woman has entered herself into the Moron Awards by tipping off American law enforcement to her own wareabouts.

Like a twat. Wanda Lee Ann Podgurski went on the run after being sentenced to 20 years in lock down for 29 felony counts of insurance fraud. Having done the crime, she didn’t really fancy doing the time, so buggered off and failed to attend court for her sentencing.

She took out a number of insurance claims with a load of different companies, and then claimed on every single one of them for an injury that had apparently disabled her beyond repair. It was entirely bollocks of course, and the cheeky cow was still picking up her $44k a year salary as an Amtrak clerk.

All told she’d trousered $664,000 by the time the long arm caught up with her, some of which she’d spent jetting all over the world on lavish holidays to China, the Dominican Republic, Fort Lauderdale, Key West, New York, Boston and for some reason Seattle. Maybe she’d never seen rain before. Maybe she really likes Frasier.

After being tried in absentia and sentenced to 2 solid decades in a bad girls jail house, Podgurski went into the wind and San Diego officials had jack-shit leads for finding her. Basically she was scott free with all her ill-gotten thousands and living the life in God knows where, laughing her crabs off at how easily she’d managed to escape justice.

So pleased with herself was she about her mad fugitive skills, Wanda Lee took it to Twitter and waved her dick in the face of the District Attorney by tweeting “Catch me if you can.”

So they did. Easily, because Twitter records your IP address whenever you post anything. They traced it back to the picturesque Mexican town of Rosarita, where they promptly picked up Wanda Lee Ann Podgurski, possibly with a stupid look on her face.

As a result of her flight over the border Mrs Podgurski will see another 3 years behind bars. San Diego District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis ran it down like this; ”The defendant in this case was brazen in both the large-scale fraud she committed and the way she mocked the criminal justice system. Law enforcement, and in particular the US Marshals and Fugitive Task Force, did a great job tracking the defendant down and taking her into custody.”

Judicial Burn! That’s what you get for flicking the V’s at Bonnie Dumanis. Get on the wrong side of her and she assembles a God damn Task Force and drags your silly ass back to the face the hammer. Ronnie Biggs never tweeted a word and he stayed on the run for decades. There’s a lesson here.

Words by Gazz Wood