A seal version of a weightwatchers weigh-in has gone
terribly wrong, after a frustrated zookeeper punched a seal during a weigh-in.
We’ve all had our down days. I was once so stressed and
hungover that I tried to hang some curtains and cried a little bit. I can
honestly say however, I have not been so angry that I punched a seal. Not like
I would either, I mean look at them! I dunno though, maybe I’d twat a possum.
Allegedly, the zookeeper “lashed out” when the seal put its
flippers on the scale he was attempting to recalibrate. So his natural reaction
was, of course, to punch it. The zookeeper has been suspended by Bristol Zoo
Gardens, who stated that they “have zero tolerance towards such behaviour and
takes its commitment to the highest standards of animal welfare and
conservation seriously."
The seal seems not to give a shit however, as he is now back
on display playing with his little seal friends. Rumour has it though, that
this isn’t over, as the South American Fur seal plans its revenge with its
relative the Sea Lion. Oh don’t underestimate those cute little bastards, the
sea lion is unpredictable and aggressive. Some managed to sink a yacht and
another tore a chunk out of a woman’s leg. In fact, more people are bitten by
sea lions than sharks.
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather watch Sealnado
anyday.
Words by Khia Reynolds