Two Drunk Russians Knock a Bear Out

OK first off, no reports have suggested that the two Russians involved in this story were drunk when it happened. We are going to take a journalistic leap and suggest they probably were.
Artist's impression

Two Russian tourists were vacationing in Poland when they decided to sneak into a ticketed National Park located in the Tatra Mountains. You know kind of like how you might sneak into a festival, only at this festival they have wild Bears wandering about near the fence.

The two Russians (drunk Russians) say they were approached by a park attendant who demanded they pay the admission price. One minor detail in the Russian's recollection was that the park attendant was wearing a Bear costume, kind of like they do at Disneyland with Goofy and that.
They later claimed they wanted to punch the attendant “Just the once” to keep him quiet. But when employees, alerted by other tourists, came to the scene, they found the Russians covered in blood and the ACTUAL MASSIVE BEAR unconscious and bleeding from the head.
The bear named Samson got nine stitches on the head and was taken to Krakow’s Zoo, Poland, for treatment. The Russians now have quite possibly the greatest bar story ever on file and will probably be sued for being cruel bastards.

So now you know. Bear Vs Russian - Russian wins.