You’ve probably read by now about the delightful chap who
took it upon himself to go into the ladies toilets in a Walmart in Tulsa and go
to town on himself. Most people read this news and responded with some mixture
of “what the fuck” and disgust. Reasonable reactions really, as it’s pretty
disgusting. But one man seems to have read the news and thought, “Hey. That looks
like a cracking idea. We should have that in the UK. I should DO that in the UK”.
That’s right, it’s happened again, right here in England. Eugenio
Freitas, who at 49 should be old enough to know better by now (not that there’s
an excuse at any age), was recently caught on CCTV in the meat aisle in
Sainsbury’s.
The Sainsbury’s in question is in Newcastle-under-Lyme,
Staffordshire, so you know which store it is you probably want to avoid. A
female member of staff noticed him loitering in the meat isle, but decided to
give him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he was just “adjusting”. He wasn’t,
as CCTV later caught. He stood in the meat aisle for 10 minutes playing with
himself. What a lovely chap.
A married man with 4 children and 1 grandchild, you have to
feel bad for those kids who now have to live with the public shame of having a
dad who isn’t allowed in supermarkets unless accompanied by an adult because he
JERKED IT IN THE MEAT AISLE. He avoided prison, managing to get away with a six
month suspended sentence. I have to say, I’d have thought he’d have been
penalised a little more because it’s pretty grim.
According to Eugenio he has a problem with masturbating in
public places, which raises the question, should he be allowed in public
places?
He claims he did go into Sainsbury’s intending to shop, but couldn’t
contain himself. Guess he took one look at all that meat and just had to see
how his compared.
Ari Carrington
